[CrackMonkey] Agenda scum

[Miles Nordin]

k., I got my Agenda today.  N.M. is a rat-bastard commie liar.  This is 
a complete piece of junk.  They clearly haven't done any work on it in 
the last year.  In all the photos, the first row of launchable icons is:

  [Email]   [FAX]   [Browser]

yet, on the device, these icons are simply missing.  no apology, no 
explanation.  Did they think I wouldn't notice?

On the web page's ``software'' section, email is ``Released:  2001-04-09''.
There is a big Download button that simply leads nowhere.  The 
www.agendacomputing.com.hk page even includes instructions about how to 
use this imaginary email program.  Did someone forget to tell these guys 
that they have to stop lying about features after they _ship_ the broken 
product to people?  This isn't merely lame.  It's lame that my celfone has 
a longer battery life, more applications, a working keyboard, and even 
working ``quicksync.'' What Agenda has done is simply prosecuteable.

Them: We have X for sale.
Me:   Great, here is $263.
Them: Thanks for your order.  Here is Y.

I knew things were getting bad in 'merica, but this is worse than Taiwan.  
What will they promise next, that all this and more will be fixed in the 
upcoming Hello Kitty agenda, which includes Li-Ion batteries from North 
Korea and a WML browser with Kanji?  And, as an added bonus, trippling 
your happiness, a $3000 value bundled in for $0.00 in the new improved 
$299.97 Agenda, the complete O.E.D. in FLASH ROM.


Their only real selling point is ``real bash, real X,'' which is, eerily, 
exactly the same logic behind WinCE and Visual Basic.

BTW, I've already placed my order for the $0.00 (+ $12.95 shipping & 
handling) Agenda Quicksync USB cable.  You better place your order, too, 
and be the first to get your hands on this valuable icon of the vibrant 
new economy.  With the long-anticipated Agenda USB cable, you can 
synchronize your valuable Quicken data with unprecedented speed and 
accuracy, thus saving the bothersome time and hassle of, using other 
types of cables.

oh yeah, the clock in the status bar doesn't even work.  The time never 
updates unless you frob it 24hr->12hr->24hr.  what a complete p.o.s. ha 
ha ha.