[CrackMonkey] Fwd: Re: [Pigdog] The new car in my life

Sean Neakums sneakums at zork.net
Sat Dec 22 06:54:17 PST 2001

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Date: Sat, 22 Dec 2001 03:49:36 -0800
From: RatSnatcher <snatcher at pigdog.org>
To: pigdog-l at bearfountain.com
Subject: Re: [Pigdog] The new car in my life

On Fri, Dec 21, 2001 at 11:42:06AM -0800, Donkey Hotey wrote:
> So he followed the opposite path of you.... he went from gold saturn
> to CRX with boombox for stereo.

You know, I don't give a shit!  I hate them with a all my venom!
Fuck Saturn cars!

Saturn cars suck ASS!!!   

They are a big GM scam!!!  A purely calculated cynical SCAM.

I don't understand it -- why everyone is so goddamn GRATEFUL that
there's a car that does all the stupid basics and doesn't cost a fortune.
Everyone should expect that ALL cars have the features of a Saturn,
and if they don't then there's something terribly wrong, because Saturns
are butt-fuggering UGLY shithole cars!  Ugh.!!!!! I hate it when big
money marketing works so well that people are brainwashed like this.

(Also, can't we just say: gee, Erin Larkin is just NO GOOD at killing
himself, rather than, oh WOW, Saturns sure are ~great~ cuz he's survived
driving off a cliff.  My dad drove off that same fucking cliff in a Chevy
and lived to tell the tale, so I know it has nothing at all to do with
the car.  It's just a bad cliff for trying to kill yourself.)

Get a fucking Japanese car! or Korean car!  Even the worst Jap car has
all the features of the Saturn, and they usually look better.  Or even
if they have bizarre wrong-headed foreign styling at least it's real style.
And at least those cars sell themselves on their real merits rather than
a bunch of dirty disgusting marketing dogshit.

Saturns have NEGATIVE style.

Yeah. GM is a fucking evil car company!!  I'm sure of it... inflicting
fucking shitty cars on us like that.  I doubt that most people even know
that "Saturn" was thought up in a boardroom at GM by a bunch of
cigar-huffing Jaguar drivers (actually it was the brainchild of one
chairman guy whom I can't remember the name of at the moment).  NO style!!
NO class -- just a sick compromise: "we promise that this piece-of-shit
fiberglass car is "safe" enough to drive off a cliff."  GREAT.

And then! all of these DISGUSTING commercials, with these fake factory
workers! UGHTTTTH!!!  The most fake thing in the world besides the
tobacco company commercials that pretend that they aren't trying to
sell cigarettes to kids...  And the promises that if you come into the
showroom that there wont be a high-pressure salesfuck waiting to kill you!
I don't care if it's true!  So what!  Fuck GM!  Fuck them!
Fuck Saturns!!!

Everyone should run around throwing bombs into the car showrooms
because we have to deal with shit like that to buy a car.  Having a decent
sales person is not a feature!  That's not a feature!  It's blackmail!
Don't put up with it!!




                 .^....^.  "I don't like the feel of
                 ! .\/. !  [the sun] on my skin."
                 (. oo .)            --Christopher Walken

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"Sing for the wings of a dove."
	-- Suggs

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