[CrackMonkey] Accomplishment for the day.

Eric Rachner a-ericra at microsoft.com
Thu Apr 13 18:13:37 PDT 2000

> -----Original Message-----
> >>>>> "ER" == Eric Rachner <a-ericra at microsoft.com> writes:
>     ER> 	I just exchanged insults with Microsoft's Sr. Vice
>     ER> President of Windows in front of the entire Windows 2000 team.
> Details, man! Whadju say?

	Man, detailed narraratives of company parties are probably a breach of NDA, but I trust you, so here goes...

	So, it was the periodic afternoon party time in the cafeteria, with free drinks of beer, wine, et cetera, and I'm just minding my own business when I see this funky bright blue wine cooler.  And even though I'm diabetic, and should know better than to drink bright blue wine coolers that are full of sugar, I had to see what it consisted of.
	Meanwhile, Brian Valentine and his crony Iain was up there reading us all the latest from the Weekly World News, 'cause we've got no lives, you see.  Among other things, we learned that people who bathe frequently age faster -- did you know that? Wow.
	So, anyway, Bryan was making fun of the Exchange Server team, 'cause they beat us in Hockey last month, and also because we're forced to eat copious quantities of their dogfood, and their dogfood sucks bad.

	Bryan read us a classified ad from last week's company newsletter:

	WANTED: E-mail System
	Large Local Software Company seeks working e-mail system.  Must be able to reliably send and receive e-mail.  (425)882-8080.

	But just then, I remembered that before coming over to the Windows division, Brian used to run the Exchange group.  Or didn't he?  I wasn't sure.  So I yelled out,

	"Hey, Brian, where the heck did we find such a great boss for the Windows team?"

	Transcript follows:

Brian:  "Hey, shut up!"

Iain:   (in a thick australian accent) "What the hell is that you're drinking?"

Brian:  "It's... blue!  What the...?"

Eric:   "I was wondering myself a minute ago, but you paid for it, so you tell me."

Brian:  "Awright, get up here!"

[ Eric gets up there.  Iain hands his Microphone to Eric. ]

Brian:  "What's your name, and where do you work?"

Eric:   "I'm Eric Rachner, and I work on the WHQL Digital Signature team."

[ Audience of Windows staff applauds, Digital Signature staff cheer loudly. ]

Iain:   (borrowing Brian's microphone) "Somebody here sure is proud of that team."

Brian:  "So, Eric, do you know why WHQL is spelled W-H-Q-L?"

Eric:   "Well, being the Windows Hardware Quality Labs, as opposed to the Windows Software Inequality Labs, we figured W-H-Q-L was the most appropriate abbreviation."

Brian:  "Hmm, very astute of you, Eric.  So, let me ask you -- do you bathe?"  (see Weekly World News reference above.)

Eric:   "No, but that's how I manage to look so much younger."

Iain:   "Lay off!  The man's 48!"

Brian:  "Yeah, but I can lose weight, whereas Eric here can't get any more good-looking."

[ Eric turns to the audience, smirks, and shrugs.  Audience hoots and cheers. ]

Brian:  "You better knock that off!  Who's your manager?"

Eric:   (pauses, and then answers in rapid-fire) "Well, I work for Scott, who works for George, who works for Brad, who works for Sanjay, who works for Soma, who I believe works for... you?"

[ Audience applauds. ]

Brian:  "I just asked who your direct manager was!"

Eric:   "Yeah, but I knew where you were going with it."

Brian:  "Boy, you're pushing it.  You want to keep this up?"

[ Audience cheers in encouragement. ]

Brian:  "Before we continue, just remember -- I signed the review model.  Want to go on?"

Eric:   "No, but just remember... I sign things, too."

[ Eric and his curiously blue drink return to his seat amidst a sea of high-fives. ]

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