[crackmonkey] A new list!
zen at zork.net
Sun Oct 25 22:48:37 PST 1998
On Sun, 25 Oct 1998, Nick Moffitt wrote:
> and we will be happy to send you the appropriate forms. Once
> you receive the forms, you will be able to order an authorization key
> for downloading the special Crackmonkey unsubscription software. Once
> your key arrives in the mail, simply go to the crackmonkey
> unsubscription web page and fill in your key along with appropriate
> personal information.
So... what's the catch?
> In addition to the disclaimer that your home address and
> e-mail will be given to targeted advertising groups across the nation,
> there are some limitations to the availability of the Crackmonkey
> unsubscription software. First, the software contains encryption, so
> it cannot be downloaded by someone living outside of the continental
> US (our sophisticated server will check your address for proof of
> this). Second, the software contains certain algorithms that are
> patened under US patent law, so it cannot be downloaded by someone
> living in the United States (our sophisticated server will check your
> address for proof of this).
What if I live in Puerto Rico?
> Once you have received the software, simply refer to the
> extensive 300-page manual (available in hardcover or trade paperback
> from Crackmonkey publishing, Inc. for the affordable sum of $400 plus
> shipping and handling charges and kickbacks for the courier service).
> You should be able to unsubscribe from any crackmonkey mailing list
> version 2.3 or prior (note: a patch for the current 4.3 crackmonkey
> list is in the works, and should be available by Christmas 1999! On a
> similar note, the new 5.0 crackmonkey list should be in operation by
> October 1999!).
Wow! That's better than MicroSoft's offer!
> In addition to unsubscribing you from the mailing list, you
> will also receive (as our gift to you for a mere additional $4.99) a
> strontium-plated Crackmonkey yoyo, complete with 30-page instruction
> booklet and lead-lined asbestos oven mitt! Note that this is not
> commonly available in the United States due to federal regulations,
> but it is possible through the crackmonkey rider in the latest CDA
Can it do spellcheck?
They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened its life with a railway-share;
They charmed it with smiles and soap.
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